Wednesday, February 23, 2011

lazing at the lake, whining and smiling...

last week...
at the last minute...
sam and i decided to load up milo 
and go camping.
we were both a little stressed out...
and thought if we took a drive to lake lochloosa...
only 45 minutes away...
did some fishing, camping, relaxing...
it would clear our heads.
it did. (for a little while).

so we headed to Lochloosa Harbor Fish Camp.
sometimes we go there just for the day...
and sometimes to camp overnight.
(we needed to forget that i don't have enough clients anymore...
and sam is not working...)

(UH-OH! i just noticed when i put the Lochloosa link in there...
'convenience' is spelled wrong on their website!)

(what is it with me and spelling?! can't i ever NOT notice misspellings or typos...)

anyway...maybe they'll see this...and fix it.

Lochloosa's the coolest...most rustic...
nature filled...local get-a-way.
so, hang out for a few minutes...and wander with me...
(great blue heron)

(bald eagle)
(all the bird pic's i took from the boat)


All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.   
~Friedrich Nietzsche


(snowy egret)

(pair of bald eagles)

(sam's mudfish. not a keeper. they've got a mouthful of teeth.
they put up a good fight when you hook one. this one twisted himself up...
round and round he goes...took a while for sam to get him untangled and back in the water!)

(no. don't even think that!   these cobwebs are NOT in the camper!)

(wood stork)

this lake used to be loaded with alligators! i didn't get one picture this time.
we only saw...maybe two...but they were too far away...
and only there heads were on top of the water.
(bald eagle)

(pair of eagles landing)
here's a great link if you want to know about Florida birds!

(it's a's a's...yeah, a plane. 
flying back and forth over the lake.  at least it wasn't a crop duster!)

(great egret)

(nearing sunset...on the lake.
 i think that beer coolie is glued to sam's hand.)
(sorry. just kidding.)

(sunset. takes your breath away. time to get off the water.)

(just getting our little 'ghenoe' up to the ramp...
time to go listen to music...and play cards or scrabble or something...)

(full moon (facing east) at night)

(full moon (facing west) over the lake in the morning!)

(our catch. keepers. catfish. bass. crappie. shell cracker.)

so, here i am. just about a week later. it's wednesday...
which is usually a slow day for me. 
sometimes the only appointment i have on wednesday is my weekly 4pm.   
since my body clock gets me up by 5am...
by the time 4:00 rolls around...i'm ready for a nap!


yesterday i ordered a couple of car promote my massage business.
i'm always a little leery about doing that (advertising),
 because all i do  is in-home visits. 
and i've learned that the best way to get clients is word of mouth.
that way, at least you know that your new client is someone 
who knows someone else...

BUT i need to do more...i need to earn more. i need to stay busy.
(yeah, i also sell a little of my art stuff...but not enough...)

when you advertise...
ANYONE can call! 
and since i go into their home...i'm at their mercy...their terms...their turf!
over the years though, i've learned to judge people pretty quickly over the phone.
if they sound weird...even just a little...if i get that vibe...i send them on down the road.

i've only gotten into a few uncomfortable situations over the past 14 years.
nothing 'life-threatening'...just made my adrenaline pump a little harder...
almost kicking in that 'fight or flight'...but not quite.

so, like i i am. almost a week later. nothing's changed.
sam's still looking for work.  i'm not as busy as i'd like. 
well, what i'd REALLY like is to quit work. retire. 
i've been working since i was 15. over 40 years. 
i'd like to make $$ selling my art. i'd like to spend my time being creative...
going on adventures every day...collecting bones...

i'm whining.

sam walked out of his job around christmas. 
he got pissed at his fellow employees...
for standing around & not working!
which is understandable...which wasn't anything new.
the guys he worked with 'milked' money from the boss any chance they got.
the boss was just too nice a guy. or too stupid to see...or care...
it had been building up and festering in sam...twisting in his gut...over the past few years.
so he walked out.
but with nothing else in the works. no replacement job. 
with the economy the way it is...I GOT A TWISTING IN MY GUT!

i'm still whining.

i bring home probably slightly more than he makes on unemployment.
i shouldn't complain. some people aren't even getting that. 
some people have lost everything.

i guess maybe i'm a little pissed. a little envious...
HEY...i'm five years older than he...
have been working longer than he...
i'm the one who should be standing in the front my robe...
waving goodbye in the morning...not he.
who walks out of a job nowadays?!

why does it bother me? 
if you love someone, shouldn't you be supportive all the time
no matter what...
but lately i've been distant...frustrated...more uncaring...inpatient...

(oh, laura...quit it!  STOP whining!  
it's not like you have a regular 9 to 5 job anyway.
you shouldn't be complaining. you should be thankful.)

"You have your way. I have my way. 
As for the right way, 
the correct way, 
and the only way, 
it does not exist." 

~Friedrich Nietzsche

anyway...time to change the subject.  something that makes me smile...
makes me shake my head...and smile in disbelief...
(not that i'm the Master Speller. i'm NOT. but if you're painting a sign.
putting out a sign that advertises your business...
USE the dictionary...or spell check!)

don't you think they meant EXHAUST?
maybe it's a play on words...i could be way off here.
maybe EXHOST is a brand name for mufflers?


remember all the skulls we found in the field...a few weeks ago.
here's a picture of all the deer jawbones from that pile o' bones.
i've cleaned and sanitized i let them sit in the sun...dry...bake...
then i'll start decorating them.

well...if you've made it this the end...
thanks for listening. 
sometimes i just have to get it out. 
whether the feelings are justified or not...
it makes me feel better just putting it down...into words.
even if nobody hears me.
the writing is therapy...

Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.  
~JRR Tolkien

take it easy.  stay cool.
thanks for wandering...

:] laura


  1. That coolie is not glued!!! I've got more than one coolie. I use VELCRO.

  2. Aaah, seeing your pictures is making me look forwards to go the states again in March even more:D

  3. What a great place to visit .....and its ok to whine now and again.....I guess as long as you can make ends meet ...I think you are richer in other ways....i know I feel I would like to be a kept woman now or at least to be able to make a living from my art(I am 55 ) but its not going to happen ........i haven't even got my Etsy shop up and running yet.....i hope your client list increases shame i wasn't closer would love a massage daughter has just qualified to do thai massage and i dont even live close enough to her !!!.......xx

  4. Laura - Love your posts, love your pictures, love your fixation on correct spelling (me too!); even love your whining. Yes, I made it through the whole thing, and I feel my heart connected to yours. We live on opposite corners of the country, but there are many common threads. Keep a good heart, and love something in every moment.

  5. Hey Laura, just read this and I envy your creativity and keen observation skills! Your pics are gorgeous and I love the moon over the water! We need to whine and actually, you are not whining, you are sharing your heart and your fear. I can relate. I follow confessions of a tumbleweed and that's how I stumbled on your blog. Take good care! God bless you.

  6. What great pictures! Looks like there is loads of wildlife there! Hope things get better for you guys soon.

    Lisa x

  7. anonymous/SAM...ha! first time you ever comment on my blog...and it's 'cause i said the coolie was glued to your hand!! yeah, velcro would be better!! quick release...just in case you have to do something else with that hand.... haha (u started it!) loveme.

    vinter! just want to say THANKS for wandering by...and leaving a note! norway...aaaah! would love to go there someday...i took a quick peek at your blog! wow! very cool illustrations!! i'll get back over there in a bit... :]

    artymess! yeah...whining...i TRY not to do that too much...i tend to keep stuff inside...and get silent...but now and then we just have to let it escape! i'm 57 (yikes! sounds old...) and soooooo ready to make a living with my you! maybe some day. YOUR art is amazing!!!!! thanks for stopping by again! :]

    Garden Path! thanks!! and thanks again!! and again! and you even love my whining! what more can i ask!! ha! i love your last something in every moment! (i try!) :]

    k9whskrs! yes! i saw you over there at tumbleweed!! what a riot she is!! i love her blog!! if i need a good laugh...i go to her part of the world! i tried clicking on your name here in the comments, but it said unavailable??! i'll try again...thanks for stopping in here, and for your compliments...kind words...and for listening to me whine, even though i wasn't actually whining! ha! (i'll have to tell sam that!)

    Thanks to all!! i appreciate ALL your thoughts!!
    hope you're having a great day! :]laura

  8. Hey Laura! I love the jawbones all lined up just waiting for your creative touch.
    Yikes! You really do have a lot to be stressed about! I hope things shake loose soon.
    All we can do is keep moving forward. Or smash things, got any extra bones??? ;)

  9. Lisa! how's that happen?? i missed your comment!! THANKS :] oh, i know...things'll get better...i just had to 'go off' a little! yes! lots of wildlife...the only thing missing were the GATORS...i guess they took too many gators last time they had the 'lottery'! oh well. that too...will get better! :]

    stacey Tumbleweed! i'm shakin'...waiting anxiously...for things to loosen up! :] yeah...gotta get started on decorating all those jawbones...maybe this weekend...i might need a little push...forward... :]

    thanks you 2...for hanging in there...with me!

  10. Laura, I'm glad you went on your camping excursion and as always, the pix are awesome...LOVE those eagles (& the fact that they're weren't any spiders!!). For you I want the deserve it! And you're NOT whining!...:)JP

  11. Yes, as Artymess said, it's ok to whine now and again-and you admit that you do have it better than some, so that shows you don't ever lose sight of your real deal! Remember, you pick the quotes, and you know why! You just have to whimper sometimes-me too. So it's ok! But I do hope you can take on some more clients-it looks like you really love your work. But, I'm with you on the retirement. It seems we all try to figure out how we can make a living doing what we really love. And, like a fool, I didn't even know what I had early in life, so I'm not totally prepared to set up shop at the ripe old age of 62!

    Now-the blue Heron is priceless! One of my favorite birds and I was glad to see it. But I've never seen one close up. What a good shot! And how cool is that Wood Stork-I want to move!!!

    You really captured all your birds with GRACE!!! I do have a few to post next time.

    And the sign-I believe you're right. Muffler and exhaust go hand in hand-don't think exhost figures into that equation under the car! The best find, Laura! You're still cool by me!

  12. Hi Laura! I've been a bit remiss in keeping up with everyone's posts of late, but better late than never, so here I am :)

    It's good to know you took a break (stunning photos!!!)...of course, nothing beats regaining ones composure and perspective than time spent in nature, soaking up her gentle truths/wisdoms.

    Unfortunately, life is tough sometimes and we are dealt cards we feel we don't deserve. It happens to us all. It seems to me that you and Sam have been presented with an excellent opportunity to hone your individual strengths and talents and to try to make them 'work for you!'

    I certainly wish you well and hope your situation will improve exponentially. Put your heads together, have a heart-to-heart on what's troubling you and then creatively find a pathway forward. As soon as you begin to take this situation on as a challenge, in a positive way, things will start to change for the better/present themselves for the good.

    Take care!

  13. gorgeous photos. And I know exactly why you need to whine. I would whine as well. Actually I do. I want to be the master of my own time, a housewife who does things. I want to be able to paint and write and give yoga classes and that's what I want to do. But I can't walk out on my job. Not yet anyway. But I too need to. I absolutely despise where I am at the moment, and I need to leave, but I can't. My goal is the end of this year. I am saving. I am moving along and I need to.

    So let's whine together, because I understand that completely.

  14. PS: I have now caught up on the posts I've missed & left comments on both posts preceding this post ;)

  15. Blue herons and artists can be blue. A sky view like your sunset image is full of brilliant colors and moods. Am mindful of your being in the moment. Grateful for the reminder.

  16. ah lovely laura
    may your skills be sought out by the pure of heart :)

    my first career was massage and natural therapies...i bet we could swap some funny dinner party stories about the 'wrong' massage clients
    funny now, but not so at the time

  17. Thanks to 'blogger-world-friends'!! you always know what to say to make me feel better...when i'm feeling down...whining...or just plain STUCK! :]
    i appreciate everyone who takes the time to wander through...and especially those who take a minute to leave a note. you are much appreciated...and i am truly humbled to have you visit...
    ugh! now you're blushing...and i'm getting a little too mushy...but i'm grateful...for your kindness...and friendship.

    i USUALLY only get to my blog reading...once a week...even if i'm not busy with massage work, it seems as though i always have a long list of things to do. today i have an all day cont. ed. seminar on 'alternative medicines/therapies...
    so tomorrow morn i'll be strolling to YOUR world...

    take it easy. stay cool. :]laura

  18. Hey Laaauraaa!!! First of all, my result's out and I PASSED! I just want to say THANK YOU for your words of encouragement (and the breathing tip :P)! Lots of love from this part of the world!!
    Laura, you're so creative, you've got a flair for taking mesmerising photographs and your creations are out of the world... it's just a matter of time/opportunity, and you'll be booming :D I KNOW IT! You calmed this lil frantic med-kid, fate will surely reward you for the gesture :)
    Oh and the bit where Writing is therapy--oh yeeeah!! just let it out.. I mean what are blogs for :)

  19. Amused Medic! yay!! time to celebrate!! you passed!! do they give you time to celebrate...or is it right back to work?!! ((thanks for your kind words...and always :))

    maybe u have time now for a new post??! (maybe you already did one...i haven't checked going to this morning...) :laura

  20. Oh Laura wath a wonderful, relaxing place the lake with all the birds and the sunset, and you can go there many times if youuu have time. But may be Sam could sell the fishes-joke.
    Don't worry, he will enjoy now the free time, also if it's not done byy himself.
    i know this situation also very good, but if you believe in youself, everything will come in a good way to you back.
    Sometimes i think about the time i had no job, not so much money, and sometimes i miss this time, because in a different way it was more spirit in myself and felt better.
    So make the best of this situation
    and don't leave love.

  21. Reply: Oh, i meant real drawings as in a commission or a portfolio piece instead of sketches:)
    And thank you for all the nice feedback on my stuff^^

  22. It is okay to whine as long as you keep posting these great pictures with it! smile
    You know Sam loves You , he even reads your blog!
    Give yourself a hug for me !
    remember what does not kill us makes us stronger!
    Better yet "Sam if You are reading this give that woman a hug for me!"

  23. Wow. I want go there right now. So calming looking. Your photos are stunning. Here, it is a muddy and slushy from lots of rain. I love rain,but am ready for some color to pop out. The gray, blacks and whites of winter can dull a spirit when visiting too long. It's like the company that never leaves.

  24. thanks Doris/Hexenessel...yeah...maybe sam could fish...and then sell fish to store...he'd love that! only problem...USUALLY were lucky to catch 'em at all! things'll get better, i know! :]

    vinter, glad you stopped by again...your drawings are really cool...and deserve the praise!

    Terica! i guess sam hasn't read this yet...hmmmm...ha! thanks for stopping by...

    Lisa...yeah, rain is good...i love it...but when it goes on and on...and on...and on...enough's enough! i know what you mean...a little sun shining through would be so welcomed...a spirit lifter!

    thanks everybody! :]laura

  25. Hi Laura, loved going with you to Lochloosa .... just the spot for getting, well, loosa!! Ha ha, another mispelling for your list now, eh!!
    Aw, keep your chin up - having a whine really helps at times doesn't it.
    Loving someone doesn't mean we aren't allowed to get downright tetchy with them at times. We're all only human aren't we.

    I have to say a huge thanks in particular for those pictures of the moon. In fact, may I reproduce one of them on my blog sidebar (with full credit to you of course). It's the full moon facing east at night photo.

    Love your little boat too. Just the thing for escaping in.

    .. and finally, think I might exhost you if I keep rambling on ;-)

    Cheers Laura and back at you with ... stay cool and take it easy xx

  26. Susan, thanks for coming to Lochloosa...i guess we both had a little 'get away' get LOOSA!
    gotta do that from time to time!
    and about the whining...yeah...gotta do that from time to time too! ha!

    about the moon shot! sure! i would be honored if you used it on your sidebar! thanks for asking...and i'm glad u like it enough to post it there...

    take care & thanks for dropping in! :laura

  27. Thank you kindly Laura :D


thanks for stopping by! it's always nice to hear from fellow wanderers!