buzzards. hawk. skull art & my fractured heart.

sometimes

life

just gives you an unexpected curve ball.

a kick in the ass.

a slap in the face.

just

when 

you

thought

life was good...

it takes you by the

heart

and tries to rip it out.

oOo

saturday morning i had an appointment.

15 minutes before i had to leave, travis noticed buzzards roosting in a tree out by the road.

sorry, it's a little on the dark side...looking into sun...

we wandered down the driveway to see what they were guarding.

a dead deer.   road kill.

don't worry...no picture of that very sad sight.

the vultures had already begun their feasting.

then travis pointed out a Red-shouldered hawk.

not a cloud in the sky!!

when i left my client's house...travis had left me a text.

"30 min after u left buzzards cleaned deer i dragged it in yard so you'll have bones"

when i got back home we buried it...out back, with the little mole & squirrel.

oOo

have i mentioned in previous posts that travis has been in trouble before?

he was court ordered TWICE to a residential Rehab facility.

over one year each time.

he has a record.   a felony.

oh, but that's not all.  a couple of misdemeanors too.

damn.

i REALLY thought things were going good.

i thought HE was doing good.

monday i had a voice mail from the arresting officer.

petit theft.  travis was on his way to jail.

again.

OH, but that's not all!

the officer told me that while he was running travis' name...

a warrant popped up!!

for petit theft in another county.

farther south.  where i picked him up when he said he wanted to come up here.

fuck.

sorry.

so.  

here i sit.

shocked.

but not really.

disappointed (in travis)...yes.

deja vu.

i don't want to go on and on about this.

my troubles.  my sadness.  

my fractured heart...

turning harder

with each of his 

self inflicted

setbacks.

his lies.

my blindness?

but i needed to say the words.

and i needed to give (you) an update on travis.

oOo

on a HAPPIER note...

over the past couple of weeks

i've been decorating a couple of deer skulls...

ONE is finished & i have already added it to my 'etsy' shop.

(pressed flowers, cicada & butterfly wings, art pen & acrylic paint)

this next skull is somewhat of a FIRST.

i used the skull as my canvas.

i painted!!

or course, a swirly moon. with a little glitter.

hmmmmm.   what do you think?

oOo

well.

as a mother...all this travis stuff tears my heart apart.

again & again. over & over.

as a mother...i can't help feeling 

like a failure.

frustrated.

drained.

i can only hope that

one day

he will 

learn

to

have respect 

for himself

and

others.

oOo

have a happy rest of the week...

stay cool & be safe.

laura

"I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police."

~Keith Richards

(sounds like something travis might say)

blooms. feathers. carcass. bird. squirrel - - - and milo.

the Azaleas are budding.

they like the cold.   so do i.

this past week we've had a few hard freezes.

no snow here in north florida...but the water in the bird bath froze!!

here's a close up of the water...which i thought looked pretty cool...

with the leaves beneath and the reflection of the trees.

just before the freeze...i noticed the camelia was about to bloom.

luckily it did.  for one day. then it froze, turned brown and shriveled up!

oOo

remember the three little bananas growing in our yard??

this was the first year we had bananas on this plant!

well...they never had a chance to mature.

maybe this year they'll sprout bananas a little earlier.

this is what they look like now.

:(

i found TWO more (Barred) owl pellets, but haven't had the chance to dissect them yet!

THIS is the BIGGEST i have ever found!

2 ¼ inches long and 1 ½ inches wide!!

it's hard to imagine a pellet this size making it up & out of the owl without choking him!

i find myself wanting to gag just imagining that.

feathers on the ground...in piles...in one area...

hmmmm...i think someone...something... has been munching on a Red-shouldered Hawk.

AND that's NOT ALL that has been munched on.

fur spotted on the ground. clumps of it.  appeared to be Opossum fur.

i followed the trail. to the far back of the yard...just beyond the tree line into the woods.

sam spotted it first.

there, on the ground.  

a fairly clean carcass.  still much fur clinging.

definitely a 'possum.  poor little guy.

(you know i'm keeping the bones!)

look at the little skinny ribs in the picture below.

we're thinking maybe a bird. hawk or owl...ate him.

if it was a fox or coyote...or a dog...it would have been dragged off.

but a BIG bird (no, not the yellow one!) would have caught it & pulled it apart right there...

on the ground.

-

too much information?

-

ok...smile...here's a Pileated Woodpecker in the front yard.

and a squirrel...

trying to decide if she wants to get a drink while i'm standing there on the porch.

too close for comfort.

but thirst won.

oOo

a quick note...i mentioned last time about my son travis coming to stay with us.

well...we THOUGHT he had a job. travis thought so too.

he worked LAST saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday...

then the boss had to go down to south florida to pick up some palm trees from his palm farm.

travis hasn't heard from him since...and he doesn't answer his cell.

we drove by his business here in town, but the gate has been shut & locked ever since last week!

???

hmmmmm.  so travis is waiting (im)patiently to get paid for his time.

then it might be back to employment app's if this doesn't work out.  

will keep you updated.

oOo

SO,

i leave you with a milo snooze.

ummmmm...is she dreaming of gymnastics? the cat olympics?

it looks like she's getting ready to do a head stand.

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. 

~Terry Pratchett

stay cool & have a safe journey.

laura

PART 2: the finale - christmas camping - suwannee to caverns

~i apologize if i haven't made it over to your place yet.

if you read my previous post, you already know that things have been pretty hectic...

with my youngest son travis moving in with us, looking for work, 

and not having his own transportation. 

so with work, home, and everything in between, i haven't had too much ME time.

BUT the REALLY good news is that travis may have found a job! yay!

i dropped him off earlier this morning at a (hopefully) possible employer!

we'll know more when his work day is done.~

☼

onward we go...the second & final post from our xmas to new years trip.
so lace up those hiking boots and follow us from 

Suwannee River State Park  to  Florida State Caverns Park...our last stop!

one of our Suwannee hikes was along the river trail that lead the way to Balanced Rock.

the days were cloudy and cold.

the nights cloudy and coldER.

reflection of the the sun hiding behind clouds. 

OOoooooh!!  i love these reflections in the river.  hypnotizing.
reminds me of a Van Gogh.  the one below looks like a cactus silhouette.

the shoreline with a cypress knee to the right and the sun & clouds reflecting...

cypress knees & trees reflecting on the river.

the only flower we saw blooming. a Rain Lily.

Balanced Rock...on the Suwannee River...

Balanced Rock and a couple of kayakers paddling down the river.

back at the camper, we let milo out to say goodbye to the squirrels.

they were kind of happy to see her go...although they wouldn't tell her that to her face!

we packed everything up and hit the road.

next stop...Florida Caverns.

along the way, we stopped at a memorial in Greenville, Florida...

a life size statue of Ray Charles at the piano.

after about 2 ½ hours drive time we reached Florida Caverns State Park...

northwest florida...in the panhandle. the ONLY public caverns in florida.

reaching our campsite...we unpacked...let milo out (on her leash)...

and then we wandered to Blue Hole Spring.

we spotted some deer...but unfortunately i just wasn't quick enough to get a picture!

BUT i DID get a picture of their POOP...oh, sorry...let's be professional here...

White-tail deer SCAT!

MORE  'shrooms...(love the purple border...)

trees standing on their heads?!   hanging upside down?
reflections....

BeaVeR ALeRt...on the perimeter of the spring!

evidence of the presence of beavers!

we didn't get so see one in the flesh...or in the fur...

but we were amazed at all their gnaw marks!

i love this one!  focused on the tree's reflection...with a background of colorful fall leaves under water.

while at Florida Caverns park 

we also hiked a trail that took us to the shores of the Chipola River.

the shore of the Chipola

sam standing beside a monster Bald Cypress Tree.

ANOTHER bike and hike we took, was to the Caverns themselves!
but, guess what?  they were closed!


not a big deal, we still walked the trails, saw a lot of huge limestone outcroppings, crevices
and smaller cave-like structures and native plants that live in the acidity of the terrain.

and since i have some pictures from the last time we were here,
you can still see what it looks like.in this underground wonderland!

along the above ground trails...

huge moss & fern covered limestone

Purple Toad Shade (Trillium)

The human spirit needs places where nature has not been rearranged by the hand of man.

a tunnel cave we walked through

False Rue Anemone  (Columbine)

(i THINK)...this is Allegheny Spurge.

WELL, that about does it...

our between christmas & new years road trip.

i hope this becomes a yearly thing!

OH! and on the way home...just after leaving the State Park, 

we pulled over at a small roadside park, in Marianna, FL.

(black legs & feet, yellow eyes and beak...)  a Great Egret.  right?

Adopt the pace of nature:  her secret is patience.  

~Ralph Waldo Emerson 

stay cool & be safe.

laura